Recent content by Stephen Hawking

I sh*t anagrams.

As a world renowned know it all and part time poindexter, I am best placed to answer this. I have examined the photograph closely and have concluded that this phenomenon is being caused by one of two events; 1 – The orb is, in fact, a red herring. It is the result of the camera flash being...

My research has shown that it was a misprint in at least two national newspapers. The actual number in attendance was 1,691.

When such timescales are involved, it is very difficult to be more precise.

My recent empirical studies have proved inconclusive as to why anyone would want a CD of a month old interview, but they have shown that we wish you well.

My research and modelling systems have demonstrated that a contract of 14 years, 7 months and 12 days would be needed to allow sufficient time to be able to teach him how to put in a decent cross.

My observations have shown that both ******** and wemissmoxey leave a space between the final word and a question or exclamation mark, when used. This proof makes the earlier assertion FACT, I'm sure you will all agree (and you can't argue with the FACTs).

There is a far greater mathematical probability of you being incredibly stupid and piling your money into the lottery than of ever breaking even, never mind winning one of the big prizes.

Don't talk to me about nurses. I've still got the bruises.

There is no scientific proof that multis exist. Not in this universe anyway.

My work with Roger Penrose in the field of gravitational singularities disproved the existence of multis. CIML

Yeah, whatever.

Mmmmm, cream pie.

I love stirring the sh*t almost as much as I love cheese.

It is no good getting furious if you get stuck. What I do is keep thinking about the problem but work on something else. Sometimes it is years before I see the way forward. In the case of information loss and black holes, it was 29 years.