todays joke

[ramone]

While walking through Plymouth yesterday i spotted a 09/10 season ticket nailed to a tree,
Making sure no-one was looking i said to myself "I'm having that"






Well you can never have to many nails can you ??

 

[Anonymous]

Whats the difference between jelly and jam???











Well you cant jelly your c*ck down someones throat can you...

 

[elvis the pig]

What's the difference between PMT and BSE?




One's mad cow disease and the other's a farming problem.....

 

[Antony Moxey]

What's the best thing about an Etheopian blow job?

You just know she'll swallow.

 

[LOG]

News channels are reporting that police have found a large cache of guns, including several starting pistols, at a house in Plymouth.

At this stage, they believe it's race related.

 

[kellow's Cornflakes]

NEWS REPORT.....A Four foot fortune teller has escaped from prison.

NEWSPAPER HEADLINE......There is a small medium at large!

 

[kellow's Cornflakes]

I could not understand why the car was was getting bigger and bigger!
Then it hit me!

 

[shakey18]

Steven Hawkins has just got back from his first date in 10 years.................

His glasses are smashed, he has a bump on his head, a twisted ankle and grazed knees.

Apparently she stood him up

Oh I Likes!!!

 

[davidjenkin]

Two guys are sat on a beach in their speedos, the geekier of the two looks to his mate and says "you've slept with over three women, whats your secret, I never get any?". "Well" he replies, "this is what you do, you just pile some sand into your speedos and march up to a girl, and ask her out, they'll never refuse that way". Two hours later though the guy returns, totally exasperated. "I did what you said" he gasps, "but no luck...again! I'm giving up". "Try it just one more time" the other guy says..."but this time, try shoving the sand down the FRONT of your speedos"

 

[elvis the pig]

Why did the pervert cross the road?















.......He was stuck to the chicken!