Tips to help you in life

[Greyhound]

Only buy regular-shaped Christmas gifts, such as books, DVDs and chocolate bars. They are much easier to wrap. Avoid such gifts as rugby balls, walking sticks and saxophones.

When sending presents by post, I always choose DVDs whether the recipient wants them or not. Lighter and much cheaper than books.

 

[Jason H]

When sending presents by post, I always choose DVDs whether the recipient wants them or not. Lighter and much cheaper than books.

Or order something from the US that the company decides to ship using FedEx. It's guaranteed not to arrive before Christmas and therefore you won't have to wrap it up.

Put this here as it's topical rather than on the Feckin' Dire thread.

 

[Greyhound]

If compelled to travel by bus, always sit at the back or in a sideways-facing seat. This will thwart the person who wants to sit behind you, so as to cough or sneeze towards the back of your head.

 

[elginCity]

On an iPhone, if you are typing a text and want to change something in a previous word(s), instead of trying to tap exactly where you want to make the change, just put your finger on the space bar and drag left - it’s amazing.

Doesn't appear to work on my pre-Jurassic iphone 5s. Must upgrade soon if only for the top tip.

 

[haka]

When sledging in cricket or football - or any situation where you want to put your adversary off - you should not use personal abuse. Instead, utter a random selection of words ... e.g. "Larynx. Nefarious. Aubergine. Plethora." While your opponent is trying to work out what the hell you are on about, you can take his wicket, clear the corner, or run away.

 

[Swanaldo]

Don't keep your Flash floor wipes next to your Andrex moist tissues.

 

[contrabombarde]

To save money buying specs cleaner wipes...when sitting on the loo, clean your specs with the loo paper before wiping your ass. You have to get it in the right order though.


(courtesy of Viz mag)

 

[Billy The Fish]

When grating cheese do it with the grater horizontal. The cheese stays inside until you tip it onto your toast or whatever. No more wastage or mess.

 

[Alistair20000]

When grating cheese do it with the grater horizontal. The cheese stays inside until you tip it onto your toast or whatever. No more wastage or mess.

What about your fingers though doing it that way ?

 

[IndoMike]

What about your fingers though doing it that way ?

Fish fingers