Viz Top Tips

[angelic upstart]

DRUGGIES: Smuggle drugs up a dog's arse. if the sniffer dog suspects anything, officials will think they're just being frisky.

 

[EdwaltonGrecian]

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f*cking thing in the first place, you fat bastards.

will always be my favourite that one.

 

[GrecianLez]

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f*cking thing in the first place, you fat bastards.

Made I laugh haw haw haw

Tada

 

[angelic upstart]

MEN:Take every precaution to stop people doodling on photos of you by wearing glasses and growing a beard and moustache

 

[StroudGrecian]

Prevent bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.

 

[Mr Jan Yeo]

UGLY BIRDS. Become better looking by simply moving North

 

[urinal]

Pet lovers: A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an
ideal "car" for snakes.

Weight-watchers: Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.

 

[aldous huxley's nostril]

Women: Exterior wood stain is a fast, long-lasting and attractive alternative to sun-bed treatments.

 

[Herschel]

WOMEN. Pressing your 'fog lights' switch a second time after the fog has cleared will actually turn your fog lights off.

 

[elvis the pig]

Breast Men: In a supermarket always miss out the first aisle so you are going 'against the flow'. Arse men should follow the normal route.