Crap jokes

[Hants_red]

A leading condom company are about to launch a camouflaged condom. Now no one will see you coming.

 

[Gussy]

I was in the pub when a guy walks in, he was wearing a black shirt, black shorts, black socks with a whistle hanging round his neck. I thought to myself, It's going to kick off any minute!!

 

[memoman]

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell garage.

 

[Reggie T42]

What's the bad news about being a test tube baby?

You know for sure that your dad is a w*nker (and a football referee!).

 

[mole221]

Why did Bob Market like the Tesco Doghnut?
Because it had jammin'

 

[urinal]

What's brown and sits on a stool?

Kate's Bush.

 

[Japanman]

What's the difference between a snowman and a snow-woman?

Snowballs.

 

[IndoMike]

(Inspector Clouseau walks past concierge, sees small terrier sitting by door)
Clouseau (to concierge): Does your dog bite?
Concierge : No, it does not
(Clouseau bends down to pat dog but dog bites his hand)
Clouseau:I thought you said your dog didn't bite?
Concierge: That is not my dog..

Well, it sounded funny, anyway..

 

[StixUK]

Burglar breaks into a pitch black house and hears a voice from the corner of the room.

"Jesus is going to get you!"

He thinks he is hearing things and carries on...

"Jesus is going to get you!"

So he gets his torchlight out and shines it in the corner and sees a parrot on his perch

The parrot repeats for the final time

"Jesus is going to get you!"

Then the burglar hears a growling from behind him and is faced with a massive rottweiler.

The parrot then says: "I told you Jesus was going to get you!"

A famous DAD joke that was...

 

[memoman]

Where did saddam hussain keep his CD's?

In a-rack!