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Jokes

Banksy

Very well known Exeweb poster
Joined
Jul 24, 2009
Messages
13,982
Location
Crostwight Norfolk
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10... Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass."

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. [Not to be confused with a rave review an insightful revival performance of an opera by Menotti -- "A rare Medium well done!"]

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
 

grecian till i die

Active member
Joined
Jan 17, 2007
Messages
1,812
Location
Exeter
u need to get out more lol
 

Banksy

Very well known Exeweb poster
Joined
Jul 24, 2009
Messages
13,982
Location
Crostwight Norfolk
Yeah I know , comes from trawling this site in between times !
 

STURTZ

Very well known Exeweb poster
Joined
Apr 1, 2004
Messages
28,328
Location
Je suis Larry
Have you heard about the blind haemophiliac?

Bled to death reading a cheesegrater.

Boom boom
 
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