"Urban" Seagulls

Serious question (from someone who have just had his lunch nicked by one of these flying vermin)

Are these parasitic pests a protected species or is one allowed to exact just retribution on the ****ing things.

For example if henceforce see one strutting bold as brass a foot in front of me or, (as always happens) a host of them ripping through the black bags on bin day am I entitled to swing a steel capped size 12 boot right through the little ****er?

Or will some tree-hugging, interfering do-gooder from the RSPB insist that I'm prosecuted for "cruelty to poor 'icke birdies"?

Any advice welcome please.

I read that feeding the feckers bread dredged in a bicarb solution may cause them to explode as they do not have a farting mechanism. Probably an old wives tale and I am not suggesting it in case it is seen as not Proper Chap behaviour.

On a serious note, these buggers are indeed a real pest. Something needs to be done about them.

We could start by not leaving rubbish out in plastic bags.

Blame the 1956 Clean Air Act if you want to point fingers. We could always go back to burning everything.

Grecian2K said:

Serious question (from someone who have just had his lunch nicked by one of these flying vermin)

Are these parasitic pests a protected species or is one allowed to exact just retribution on the ****ing things.

For example if henceforce see one strutting bold as brass a foot in front of me or, (as always happens) a host of them ripping through the black bags on bin day am I entitled to swing a steel capped size 12 boot right through the little ****er?

Or will some tree-hugging, interfering do-gooder from the RSPB insist that I'm prosecuted for "cruelty to poor 'icke birdies"?

Any advice welcome please.

Click to expand...

I blame the parents..

I respect seagulls.

Nails.

Grecian2K said:

Serious question (from someone who have just had his lunch nicked by one of these flying vermin)

Are these parasitic pests a protected species or is one allowed to exact just retribution on the ****ing things.

For example if henceforce see one strutting bold as brass a foot in front of me or, (as always happens) a host of them ripping through the black bags on bin day am I entitled to swing a steel capped size 12 boot right through the little ****er?

Or will some tree-hugging, interfering do-gooder from the RSPB insist that I'm prosecuted for "cruelty to poor 'icke birdies"?

Any advice welcome please.

Click to expand...

Here ya go

http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/local-news/woman-accused-stamping-seagull-death-388011

Grecian2K said:

Are these parasitic pests a protected species

Click to expand...

They are indeed.

My advice is to move to an area where they're scarce, e.g. rural mid-Wales. Sorted!

Urban seagulls? Like MC Herring and Dizzee Rasgull?

iscalad said:

Here ya go

http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/local-news/woman-accused-stamping-seagull-death-388011

Click to expand...

Thanks Isca. I see a bit more subtlety is needed.

I've heard of the baking soda suggestion but not sure it is an urban myth or not (and the avian branch of the security services might get a bit suspicious of anyone stocking up with on industrial quantities of Sodium Bicarbonate and bread rolls.

Way, way back in my schooldays one of my classmates used to go "gull fishing". Put out cubes of bread (ideally doped with Shippam's Fish Paste for extra attraction) concealing a small fish hook and a good length of firmly secured fishing line. The little Buggers would swoop in, gulp down the "treat", zoom off and bingo. When the line tightened instant eviscerration.
But he was a sadistic little sod - I believe that he ended up as an estate agent, which say it all really. Not even I could quite aspire to such levels of retribution.

And, Greyhound, nice idea, but I've a better one. Why not move the evil flying ****ers to an area where they're scarce instead? I'm sure the residents of, say, rural mid Wales would enjoy the novelty-for a while.

Mr Jan Yeo said:

Urban seagulls? Like MC Herring and Dizzee Rasgull?

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I was thinking more of the 60s group, The Byrds. Especially their classic. Tern Tern Tern.