Triggers broom
New member
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2009
- Messages
- 9
Having spotted a previous post (on another forum) which appeared a bit inaccurate, I thought I might offer this more up to date guide by way of a welcome to Priestfield.
Surrounding area.
You know (those that are old enough) the picturesque portrayal of Kent as the Garden of England in the Darling Buds of May? Remember? Del Boy and Catherine Zeta whatsname? Well this is not exactly like that. This is a slightly less scenic region with not so many apple orchards and a lot more **** soaked mattresses lying outside the terraced houses. Indeed, about 4 years ago the Grauniad (or was it the Observer?) voted us “England's crappiest football ground” in their survey.( Nice to win something).
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2004/oct/10/newsstory.sport2
In fairness the bits of the ground they didn’t like have gone, and the article focuses more on the actual surrounding area which is not exactly ‘Sandbanks’ but there’s not much we can do about that.
The ‘away’ pub.
The Livvy (Livingstone Arms) has changed hands this season. It is still regarded as the 'away pub' though you will of course find Gills in there as well pre-game. Contrary to the other thread, the police are not eager to shut the pub down on match days. It is of course handy for them to know where the main bulk of the away drinkers are and if the weather's decent and fans are drinking outside they (the police) will happily hang around and have a chat with you. The old landlady Michelle used to put spuds and sausages on the bar but i'm not sure if the new guv'nor (Mark) still does this as I get in at about 2:15 by which time it had all gone anyway. They always have plenty of staff on pre-match so even if the pub is busy you won't wait long. The bar ceiling is covered in football shirts, some retro Gills, but mostly oppo, which have been donated by ****** up away fans in celebration of a victory at Priestfield (there are quite a lot). In fairness many of the shirts were yellowed with fag smoke and the new folk have redecorated. There are 4-5 tellys dotted around showing the early Prem/FA Cup game. The pub is just 200 yards from the away turnstiles. Mark is a decent fella who likes to look after the football crowd on a Saturday. The Morecombe lot thought he was great and wrote him up on their forum.
Grub.
There is one chippy directly across the road and another chippy come kebabby just 40 yards down road towards the away end. The chippys are geared up for match days and if there are a dozen people queuing out the door, you'll still get your pie within 3-4 minutes.
Away End
It is a temporary affair the like of which you see on the 18th green at the Open. According to many visiting fans forum it will apparently fall down if you fart. It has been in place for at least 3 seasons and has yet to fall down. In this time it's highly probable that many fans have farted, especially Swindon who are very tatty folk. Notably two weeks ago it was completely full of Villa fans who, when they scored from their dodgy penalty, started a mass bouncy thing in an apparent concerted effort to break the bugger. It didn’t flinch. As of this season you no longer have to share this stand with home fans. They have been moved elsewhere (unfortunately). Those who enjoy spending 90 minutes gurnning at oppo fans and giving the winker sign (you know who you are) now have to do it over the length of the pitch. However, your closest oppo fans are in the corner to your left, but it is the family stand so apart from the odd throwback you may experience little resistance.
As reported there is no roof. Today (Friday) it’s ******* down, tomorrow? who knows. If it does rain the cabin attendants (or whatever we call the arseholes now) will wander along the front hurling the 'rain-macs' amongst you. These are of questionable quality and there is currently no known scientific instrument in existence that can measure material so thin. If as forecast, it is raining and a bit windy, please bear with us as marvel at your vain attempts to put these body johnnys on. Such is the inconsistency of the quality of the football of late, it is sometimes the highlight of the afternoon watching you lot struggling like a bunch of demented chimps to adorn your complimentary ‘anoraks’, only to emerge moments later, with something resembling a cling-film scarf flapping in the breeze.
Please Note, adults should make a hash of their own rain macs before assisting children to make a hash of theirs.
Opposite you is the Rainham End, traditionally the singers and the shouters. However, at the moment, unless we have just equalised against a prem side in the cup (that’ll be twice in five years) we just can't be bothered.
Singing/Chanting. Please do, but try not to spark up suddenly as this may startle the old folk in the Gordon Road Stand to your right and they might knock their flask off their blankets.
If you're struggling for lyrical inspiration, then the staples are generally, "You live in a caravan", "you're just a bunch of pikeys", or "the wheels on your house go round and round". If it helps we will feign surprise at your originality and clap you with the utmost sincerity. We may respond with something about Cider or some witty Wurzely thing but frankly creativity is at an all time low.
Stewards. Either totally ineffectual and invisible, or panic stricken over the top, “sit down, right I’ve told you once, you’re out” depending on the time of the month. Same for us.
Admission.
Too much. Same for us.
Enjoy the game. Safe trip up and down.
Surrounding area.
You know (those that are old enough) the picturesque portrayal of Kent as the Garden of England in the Darling Buds of May? Remember? Del Boy and Catherine Zeta whatsname? Well this is not exactly like that. This is a slightly less scenic region with not so many apple orchards and a lot more **** soaked mattresses lying outside the terraced houses. Indeed, about 4 years ago the Grauniad (or was it the Observer?) voted us “England's crappiest football ground” in their survey.( Nice to win something).
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2004/oct/10/newsstory.sport2
In fairness the bits of the ground they didn’t like have gone, and the article focuses more on the actual surrounding area which is not exactly ‘Sandbanks’ but there’s not much we can do about that.
The ‘away’ pub.
The Livvy (Livingstone Arms) has changed hands this season. It is still regarded as the 'away pub' though you will of course find Gills in there as well pre-game. Contrary to the other thread, the police are not eager to shut the pub down on match days. It is of course handy for them to know where the main bulk of the away drinkers are and if the weather's decent and fans are drinking outside they (the police) will happily hang around and have a chat with you. The old landlady Michelle used to put spuds and sausages on the bar but i'm not sure if the new guv'nor (Mark) still does this as I get in at about 2:15 by which time it had all gone anyway. They always have plenty of staff on pre-match so even if the pub is busy you won't wait long. The bar ceiling is covered in football shirts, some retro Gills, but mostly oppo, which have been donated by ****** up away fans in celebration of a victory at Priestfield (there are quite a lot). In fairness many of the shirts were yellowed with fag smoke and the new folk have redecorated. There are 4-5 tellys dotted around showing the early Prem/FA Cup game. The pub is just 200 yards from the away turnstiles. Mark is a decent fella who likes to look after the football crowd on a Saturday. The Morecombe lot thought he was great and wrote him up on their forum.
Grub.
There is one chippy directly across the road and another chippy come kebabby just 40 yards down road towards the away end. The chippys are geared up for match days and if there are a dozen people queuing out the door, you'll still get your pie within 3-4 minutes.
Away End
It is a temporary affair the like of which you see on the 18th green at the Open. According to many visiting fans forum it will apparently fall down if you fart. It has been in place for at least 3 seasons and has yet to fall down. In this time it's highly probable that many fans have farted, especially Swindon who are very tatty folk. Notably two weeks ago it was completely full of Villa fans who, when they scored from their dodgy penalty, started a mass bouncy thing in an apparent concerted effort to break the bugger. It didn’t flinch. As of this season you no longer have to share this stand with home fans. They have been moved elsewhere (unfortunately). Those who enjoy spending 90 minutes gurnning at oppo fans and giving the winker sign (you know who you are) now have to do it over the length of the pitch. However, your closest oppo fans are in the corner to your left, but it is the family stand so apart from the odd throwback you may experience little resistance.
As reported there is no roof. Today (Friday) it’s ******* down, tomorrow? who knows. If it does rain the cabin attendants (or whatever we call the arseholes now) will wander along the front hurling the 'rain-macs' amongst you. These are of questionable quality and there is currently no known scientific instrument in existence that can measure material so thin. If as forecast, it is raining and a bit windy, please bear with us as marvel at your vain attempts to put these body johnnys on. Such is the inconsistency of the quality of the football of late, it is sometimes the highlight of the afternoon watching you lot struggling like a bunch of demented chimps to adorn your complimentary ‘anoraks’, only to emerge moments later, with something resembling a cling-film scarf flapping in the breeze.
Please Note, adults should make a hash of their own rain macs before assisting children to make a hash of theirs.
Opposite you is the Rainham End, traditionally the singers and the shouters. However, at the moment, unless we have just equalised against a prem side in the cup (that’ll be twice in five years) we just can't be bothered.
Singing/Chanting. Please do, but try not to spark up suddenly as this may startle the old folk in the Gordon Road Stand to your right and they might knock their flask off their blankets.
If you're struggling for lyrical inspiration, then the staples are generally, "You live in a caravan", "you're just a bunch of pikeys", or "the wheels on your house go round and round". If it helps we will feign surprise at your originality and clap you with the utmost sincerity. We may respond with something about Cider or some witty Wurzely thing but frankly creativity is at an all time low.
Stewards. Either totally ineffectual and invisible, or panic stricken over the top, “sit down, right I’ve told you once, you’re out” depending on the time of the month. Same for us.
Admission.
Too much. Same for us.
Enjoy the game. Safe trip up and down.
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