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Exeweb new posters: a helpful guide to creating your unique identity

antman

Well-known Exeweb poster
Joined
Apr 1, 2004
Messages
8,582
Location
Lisbon
I often look at the numbers of views on a particular thread on exeweb and then wonder if there are still people out there who look at exeweb but do not post themselves. the technical term for these people of course is 'lurkers'. There was once a punk band called The Lurkers who weren't much good but got a lot of airplay on Radio One thanks to John Peel who loved them very much. Despite being one of the best DJs ever, he had a habit of over-exposing bands that nobody was much interested in.

Anyway, back to the point: I was thinking maybe some of these people (lurkers) want to post themselves but are nervous about joining the daily affray, skirmish and soap opera that is exeweb. As a proud user and contributor (literally, not financially, Steve would remind you) to this website of ten years standing, I think I am qualified to help.

The first important step is to create an identity for yourself. There are many instantly recognisable types of contributors to exeweb and I'd like to suggest a few possibilities.

1 The Happy Clapper

The HCs are known for their ability to put a positive spin on just about anything done by the manager, players or the administration of the club. They are easy to spot as they are often seen around Red Square before and after games, wearing rose-tinted spectacles and gathering in cliques. If you want to join this group of people, it's best to get to know certain individuals who can help you advance in the social milieu. Contributions to exeweb should be especially stepped up after defeats in order to combat any ill feeling towards the club which may emerge at that time. Catchphrases include "it's only one game" and "How do you think (insert name of player) would feel if he's reading this?"

2 The Moaner

This poster is known for its ability to go very quiet during successful periods for the club, only to resurface when the going gets tough. They are frustrated because they can see exactly what is going wrong with the club, and feel that if people recognised this then everything would improve. Tendencies to favour 'old school' tactics and honest, reliable ex-City pros as coaching/managerial staff who (preferably) shout a lot are the hallmark, and if you want to become a moaner then you need to develop a siege mentality where you believe everyone's against you (they will be).


3 The Exile

While seeing few (or no) City games in a season might seem a handicap, you can create a worthwhile brand identity for yourself by simply moving out of the West Country, preferably abroad where you can become known as Grecian in Albania or the like. There you can happily pontificate about the rights and wrongs of the club while knowing precious little about what really goes on. The more glamorous your location the more popular you'll be, as everyone needs a room to stay when they visit your town on holiday. Favourite catchphrases include "having watched the goals on Grecian World" and "When I saw him play in 2002".

4 The Stirrer

This poster often claims a connection to a certain player or individual(s) inside the club. Rumours are generated although usually the source of these are not named. It's important for this poster to be incognito and and not to worry too much about sticking to the truth as long as new threads attract more then 20 replies. Even Argyle fans are welcome to become a Stirrer.

5 The Banterer

Only posts on the Banter Board. Loves and hates fans of other teams in equal measure and misses the seventies.

6 The Professional Journalist/Writer

Some of these posters genuinely love City, almost as much as the sound of their own voice. Exeweb is a godsend for them, as they can promote whatever book/newspaper column/radio show they happen to be doing, and the reader has an obligation to listen/read/purchase because otherwise they wouldn't be real supporters. Being popular is crucial and conflict with other posters on exeweb highly unadvisable.

7 The Grumpy Git

Often confused with The Moaner, these posters can have positive things to say about the club as long as they are disagreeing with someone, which is the important feature of this type.

8 The Personality

This poster is just who they are. You cannot avoid them because they will post on every single thread and you will be in no doubt of their opinions on anything, from whether Deano is a left-back or a left-midfielder to whether pasta is better than rice. They have posted ten thousand times and you know about their girlfriends/wife/children, where they work and their shoe size.

9 The Politico

Either leaning to the left or towards Genghis Khan, these posters only get really excited when debating immigration, patriotism or football hooliganism. They get very hot under the collar while everyone else gets very, very bored.



I love Exeweb.



Happy New Year to everyone.


Ant.
 

ECFC Nursey!

Very well known Exeweb poster
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
15,513
Location
RIP to City's number nine. Sleep tight love
That is so funny ant, laughed out loud at that post and most of it true too! :D
 

Antony Moxey

Very well known Exeweb poster
Joined
Jun 24, 2004
Messages
42,714
Location
Exmuff
Hehehe - so funny, so true.

*wonders who his inspiration was for each category*

:D
 

ecfc girl

Well-known Exeweb poster
Joined
Mar 3, 2004
Messages
7,095
Location
Exeter
Hehehe - so funny, so true.

*wonders who his inspiration was for each category*

:D
I think I can make an educated guess on most of them!
 

Poundstretcher

Active member
Joined
Apr 17, 2004
Messages
2,747
Location
Oxford
Hehehe - so funny, so true.

*wonders who his inspiration was for each category*

:D
or categories...?
 

LOG

Very well known Exeweb poster
Joined
Nov 25, 2006
Messages
27,573
Location
Not currently banned
As a c*nt, which category am I in?
 
Joined
Oct 13, 2008
Messages
293
Location
Big bank
What's the Exeter city website called
 

angelic upstart

Very well known Exeweb poster
Joined
Jul 8, 2004
Messages
27,486
Excellent post Antman, very amusing too.

I'm not sure which type of contributor I am. However, I'm a size 9, prefer pasta to rice and haven't got laid in 7 months. I have no pets and believe Deano would be best played as a left midfielder.
 

Invisible Man

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2008
Messages
139
Location
In your reality
You forgot to add: The Exeweb Bore

An Exewebber who rarely gives his/her opinion for fear of upsetting people, sits on the fence, attempts to appear well read but is really without substance. A "runner".

Which category do you fall into Antman?
 

StroudGrecian

Very well known Exeweb poster
Joined
Mar 27, 2007
Messages
14,000
Location
Never done this before
As a c*nt, which category am I in?
Dont be too hard on yourself Log. You're not just a c*nt, you're also a personality.
 
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